Single in Jozi

"Romeo, Romeo, where the fuck are you godammit?!"

Of the South African population, 43% of us are single, the better half of that statistic are miserable, pathetic losers who are itching to jump into someone’s pants. I'll be brave enough to admit I am part of that ridiculous half. Needless to say, being a single Jane Doe in Joburg is no more fun than having a bikini wax is! Subsequent to much deliberation I have decided to bring my singledom to a screeching halt, so I briefly considered internet and text dating as a way out of my misery but quickly dismissed that idea when I browsed through a site with very dodgy looking people. I’m talking sparkly oral jewellery and Carvellas, no hate but NO THANKS! So I’ve decided to join the other many losers, ugly people and those lacking self confidence and settled for…*drum roll*… speed dating!  

See, when you're single in big, bad Joburg, you have safety to consider amongst a countless number of other factors when you think of re-entering the dating scene. But with speed dating safety issues are almost eradicated, give or take that one freakzoid who'll follow you home and slash you into little pieces coz he loved you so much!

Forgive me and my ever-ready imagination!

But besides the odd freakazoid, speed dating is considered one of the safest and financially forgiving nights out: you get about thirteen dates all in one night, everyone there comes with the same objective and the rules of the game are understood from the word go.

So come next Wednesday I'll have my frekum dress and 30 inch heels ready for a night full of ugly strangers tryna jump my delicate self (i will bust a quick move if need be), thanks to smartdate, who are hosting a speed dating night for 20-30 year olds at O'Galito, Benmore Gardens.

"Take me now John, take me now"



Dating in the fast lane; sure can't wait to meet other sorry singles!

Yawzaaaah
Jane Doe