The doodoo debate

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, relief

An argument our forefathers failed to resolve deserves some of my undivided attention, even if it is just a minute!

A sleepover with a guy (friend) has proven to be as torturous for me as it has been to my predecessors. Pressed as I was, my pride wouldn’t let me ruin the “perfect” image I had possibly created with this friend, and honestly I thought of slipping away like the proverbial thief in the night, but like the trooper that I am, I stuck it out! During my time of trial and tribulation, the track “In the still of the Night” by Boyz II Men playlisted itself in my mind, specifically the part “in the still of the night/I held you, held you tight”. For your pleasure, this is what I’m talking about

Got to my place, took care of business and got on the phone with my girlfriend who never fails to give...uuuuhhhhhmmmm, shall I say...good advice. In her exact words: “tsala, you should’ve just excused yourself, went out into the garden and done your shit! At least then there wouldn’t have been an offensive odour to remind him of your imperfections!” So according to her that’s how simple it is, crap in his garden like a stray dog but not in my REALLY, REALLY expensive shoes and cocktail dress I ain’t! Crouching like that is just wrong on every level you choose to look at it.

Not even a gnome can make this look good

My experience may have forced me to rethink how liberated I thought I was if I still can’t take a crap at a friend’s place but it unfortunately still hasn’t yielded a solid answer. I’m still uncomfortable with the thought of having to take a dump at a toilet other than your own, but next time if push comes to shove (excuse the pun), I  AIN’T HOLDIN BACK! Screw my image, blame nature!

I apologise in advance

Let there be style...
Jane Doe