Phoenix Jones Real Life Superhero

Look at this fucking nitwit. This crime-fighting moron, who thinks he is a legitimate superhero, is someone's son, and is the byproduct of unprotected, teenage sex. Burn that image into your brains. Now that I have done that public service... On Saturday, the man who calls himself Phoenix Jones was trolling around Seattle in costume, when he saw two guys fighting (presumably in a dark alleyway). At this point Jones thought to himself, "jackpot!" As he went in to break up the fight, one man turned on him and then so did the other. One even pulled a gun. Then they held him down as they each took turns kicking him in the face. Jones, ever the superhero, managed to eventually call 911 so that real cops could take care of this. When asked just what the fuck he thinks he's doing trying to be a superhero, Jones replied, "I am whatever Seattle needs me to be." Then he hopped on a mountain bike and sped away.

L.G
brobible