Dear Condom Companies

Dear Condom Companies,

Your packaging sucks. Yet few products in life (aside from brakes, rope, fire hydrants and weaponry) need to work in the heat of the moment more than the condom.

The pressure to get that thing on before the mood changes – while still looking smooth and effortless – is so monumental, the stress alone can shut you down. Add to that your hands and everything else are probably covered in slippery lube. So why are these little rubber wonders of technology so dang hard to open?



Now I’m as safe sex conscious as anybody. And I’m not saying there aren’t ways to keep things interesting while doing what needs to be done.

But when you’re looking down at a beautiful naked woman staring back, waiting for you to tediously fiddle with slippery plastic, it takes all your might to not just throw the fucking thing aside and get down to business.

So wouldn’t it be better for everyone if even a drunken fool could get it on without having to use his teeth to open the thing (and probably rip the condom in the process)? And the technology already exists! Pronto condom - a South African company – solved this problem. Their packaging quickly snaps open in the middle and can be used to apply the condom without even having to touch it. Glad South Africans are facilitating quicker love making.




L.G
coedmag