The Road to Miss South Africa 2011 [video]

On a this particularly huge weekend for the Gauteng Rugby Union, I'll remember it as a weekend where I learnt that, Americans aren't as dumb as we thought they were.

The problem seems to have hit our shores pretty hard as well. I woke in a drunken daze on Saturday, and while waiting for my friends to deliver the alcohol I would consume for the rest of the day. I channel hopped and came across something I thought would induce a boner in me. The road to Miss South Africa 2011.

Basically, an Idols like show where they held auditions throughout the country and slowly whittle their way down to the girls who will vye for Miss South Africa 2011 in the final competition. Like I said my reasons for watching were purely masturbatory, but the things I saw and heard made my pee-pee sad.

The country is well stocked with beauties as evidenced by the show, but a beauty of substance is much harder and rarer to come across. It started off with the girls parading in front of the judges, in their bikini's thus earning them a call back to the jhb interview. Like I said, the country has a lot to offer the eyes. It's also quite obvious that no girls aspire to have that elgant body that beauty queens of old used to grace our screens with. Today's mould is all spray tan, bolt on tits, and hair extensions, something out of the blow up doll catalogue.

The pretenders were easily chopped based purely on looks. Another gripe I have with this thing, is the judges panel, Principal Judge and former Miss South Africa Sonia Raciti-Oshry, Joan Ramagoshi (former Miss SA & businesswoman), Sonia Booth (former Miss SA 2nd Princess and model), Kieno Kammies (Talk show host & Journalist), Gert Johan Coetzee (Designer) and Paledi Segapo (Fashion Consultant).

All the old beauty queens I can understand, but if you're gonna have males adjudicating a beauty pageant, atleast pick straight ones. Sure gay guys did wonders for straight mens fashion sense in queer eye for a straight guy, but they tend to find the good in all women, and this competition you want stunners right off the bat. Keino, on the other hand seems to have lucked out on getting on this panel. While he is straight, he doesn't exactly ooze ladies man/international player, or most elligible bachelor vibe. Which you need your male judge to be. Only a man who has dabbled in a lot of women can sit at a table and tell other women, they just don't cut the mustard. Next time judges pick me.

Fuck, I'm getting sidetracked. The girls got through the greulling bikini section and got invited to the jhb interview section. Where they were asked pretty general knowledge questions about the country they so badly want to represent. You know who's the deputy president, what's the national flower, animal, does Cape town have a mountain.

Not necessarily stumbling blocks for anyone who has half an ear toward the countries current affairs, or someone who didn't get a double G symbol for their woodwork class.

These girls.! I'm not sure if they were doing it for my amusement, but they fucked up royally.One poor gil when asked what the countries, national animal was , answered the big 5. Then when given another oppurtunity to guess, answered the monkey. Suffice to say I'm hooked on this show, cause there was one stunner who ticked all the right boxes and made mr pee-pee smile agian.

L.G